I am aware of my brief disappearance, but I was trying something very new. Due to my job not starting until the end of May, I have spent the last week after exams doing absolutely nothing.
I have made great progress in my battle to finish Gilmore Girls and Friends on Netflix. I have begun to recreate the calluses on my left fingers from a dedication to learning Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. I have slept enough to make up for the lack of rest I have experienced the last many years. I have learned to cook a few meals. I have spent time with wonderful people, and I have made my new room feel like home.
Under the twinkly lights above my bed, I write this to you, not to say sorry, but to say: I am happy.
I thought I would be bored, and I have been at times, but that’s only because I’d never known this kind of freedom. I like to be busy, and I like routine. I’m sure I’ll be very happy to start my job, but for this week I forced myself to give all of my effort into trying to embrace this freedom.
I have been in better contact with friends and family than I have been in a long time. I have been pursuing my passions that had to be put on hold. I have read three books that had been sitting on my shelf for a year. I have been lazing around in my Sunday pajamas on a Tuesday and I have rejoiced in rediscovering relationships that had been lost in my planner.
I haven’t even touched my planner.
As much as it may sound ridiculous to you, this concept of doing nothing is very foreign to me. This week was a learning experience, and one that has inspired me to re-evaluate what is important in my life, and where I spend my time.
I encourage you all to take some time out of your busy schedules to embrace nothingness, even if like me that thought scares the crap out of you. Call someone you haven’t contacted in a while. Remember what you used to love, and remember why. Do it again and again and again.
Don’t lose track of the things you love most. Live life in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire and bring along the people that will rekindle it.
Save not what you seek
Save not what you know
Save what has been forgotten
For forgotten is not lost
Forgotten can be found
Just as you are not lost
Just as you can be found
If you cannot be found
You were never there to find
Yet to exist
To be born anew