This four day weekend has opened my eyes to many things. We always struggle to find good things in ourselves. I see it in the embarassed look on young girls faces as they try to answer questions like, “what is one thing that you love about your body?” or “what is your best quality?”. It is so hard for us to say nice things about ourselves. We feel as though we are bragging, or being self-absorbed. Self-esteem levels in youth are low, and they’re dropping more each year. Young women especially face so many oppressions.
We are all quick to blame ourselves for bad things in life, but slow to give credit to ourselves for the good things. If someone hurts us, we assume we did something to deserve it. If someone doesn’t like us, we assume we gave them a reason. One thing that it has taken me 19 years to realize is that sometimes, it’s not about me (insert princess emoji).
Each one of us has something that is special, something that makes us unique. We may not see it ourselves, we may not have anyone telling us what it is everyday, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Even though it can feel like people only see the bad things about us, and that our mistakes are what define us, this is not true.
I finished Gossip Girl today (thank goodness there isn’t a real one) and it made me think, aren’t we our own hate-blogs? We catalogue and over analyze every small mistake we have made. We feel that it’s exposed for everyone to see. I met some less than friendly people this weekend, but I also met some very friendly people. I worried myself as to why these people were being rude to me, was it my fault? Was I not good enough for them?
A lovely cab driver enlightened me that Canadian history is not my strength, and also that you can screw up 5/10 times and still have a great day. I didn’t have to be perfect for him to be nice to me, so I don’t need to change for anyone else either.
What I’m trying to say is successes, failures, mistakes, and good choices: they all make us who we are. Not one of these has more weight than the other, we are made up of moments, memories in time. In years the bad ones will be forgotten, as hard as it seems to believe. You don’t need to be “good enough” for anyone. You just have to be yourself.
The worst thing you can do to people who have tried to bring you down is to forget about them. Forget their faces, names, birthdays, everything. Their power is only as great as you make it. Don’t let anyone (anonymous GG or real life jerk) get you down. Stay fabulous, because trust me, you are.